Book Readin'
Love grows from the rich loam of forgiveness.
I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb.
So this book was really very good. I'm sure each individual will get something different for a book of this length but for me it was the Christian concept of forgiveness. I am not a religious person, I find it all rather unlikely, but religion, as by brother stated, is one of the last refuges for the discussion of ethics. Not that atheist (I prefer Ethical Humanist) like me is amoral but rather there seems no real place for the discussion of ethics in the atheist world. But I digress.
Back to the Christian version of forgiveness. Basically the idea is that you just forgive the offender. It doesn’t matter whether they do penance or not, where they are punished, whether they absolve themselves of blame, whether they are alive or dead, you just have to take the wrong, hold it in you mind, and let the person off.
Obviously this kind of crap is going to be easy for some stuff (short changing me, peeing on my house) and more difficult for other things (shooting my liver, cutting me off) but the premise I think is sound. Which is by letting go, by letting the other person off the hook, you sort of let yourself go to, you allow yourself to move on. What is the point in carrying a grudge, why add that burden to the slings and arrows of daily life.
I’ve found it easier to basically look back on my life and see if I’ve ever done the same thing (I have invariably), and if that is the case just see where I was and maybe where they are now and just let it slide. And now I will remove myself from this high horse and find some grub.
posted by Yen at
11:37 AM
2 Comments:
On atheism: I don't have a problem with the term, but neither do I feel the need to make it more politically correct. There is nothing wrong with not having imaginary friends. Religions aren't strong because they are right, they are strong because they are large. They use the sum of their parts against the parts themselves, much as a snowball grows by picking up flakes as it bowls down a slippery slope. Morality by committee law is weaker than that which comes from within. The church would have us believe that they have the market cornered on ethical discussion. Environmentalism didn't come from the church, neither did the ethical treatment of animals, abolition, or womens right to vote. Morality is merely a lifestyle centering on a concept of social environmentalism, of doing no harm to others in the pursuit of ones own goals. If anything, it is the religious who have been led astray. By attempting to prevent others from doing medical research, inhibiting the distribution of contraceptives and education, the repression of women, the suppression of information, and the forcing of their beliefs upon the children of others, they create a putrid parody of morality which I have no intention of empowering further with politeness. Religion is a choice. Criticizing someone for their choices does not constitute racism.
On Forgiveness: When is the last time you saw a religion forgive an offense? Not in my memory. The closest thing I can think of is the Papal stand against capital punishment. Caging people until they die hardly constitutes forgiveness in my book. The longest running wars in history have been over grudges held by religion. The ability to forgive is something we must all find within ourselves. It is perhaps the most important and least learned element of maturity. There are many subtle aspects of forgiveness. The first is expectations. The more you expect from others, the more often you will find frustration and disappointment gnawing at your stomach, and the urge to blame it on others. Expecting people you don't know and will never see again to treat you with respect, or holding your spouse to higher standards than yourself leads to far more stress than they are worth. I think the small stuff in life is as much about resignation as forgiveness. Dwelling on it, or retaliation, are likely to be counterproductive. The real key seems to be reducing the likelihood that you will find yourself having to forgive the same infraction again while creating the least stress in everyone involved. The shortest road to forgiveness is understanding. The bulk of the difference between self defense and murder; motivation and intent, are such central tenets of our legal system that they are weighted more heavily than the end result of the crime itself.
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Anonymous, at 11:01 PM
After Steel's gorgeously long and yet somehow concise comment I feel dumb writing, "Hey, I loved that book!" and not much more. I read it years ago, when it first came out, and remember having Grand Thoughts about it after reading, much as you did, but damned if I can remember any of them. But glad you liked it too!
Just finished Plan B by Anne Lamott, and have been having similar deep thoughts. She writes so beautifully of flaw and redemption. PM me on Bookcrossing.com if you want to borrow it - I am thinking of making it into a bookring. It is a book that begs to be shared.
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Anonymous, at 11:34 PM
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